Why we should let our children fail

According to Dr. Stephanie O’Leary, a clinical psychologist specializing in neuropsychology and author of “Parenting in the Real World: The Rules Have Changed,” failure is good for kids on several levels.

First, failure helps your child learn to cope, a skill that is certainly necessary in the real world. It also provides them with the life experience needed to connect with their peers in a real way, not an ideal one. Challenge also embodies the need for hard work and continuous effort, and also demonstrates that these traits are valuable even without the gold star or top score.

Over time, children who have experienced defeat will strengthen their resilience in the face of adversity and be more willing to attempt difficult tasks and activities because they are not afraid of failure.

And, she says, trying to rescue your child when they fail sends the message that you don’t trust them. “Your willingness to see the child struggle to overcome their difficulty communicates to the child that you believe they are capable and can handle any outcome, even negative ones,” she says.