11 December 2023
Why we shouldn’t give in to our child’s every wish
Reading time 1,5'
It gives us great satisfaction to make our children happy in every way. And it is very difficult for us to see our child sad.
However, if we satisfy our child’s every request, and the child is used to this, then he has limited cooperative skills and has not learned how to overcome disappointments, because quite simply, we have not let him be disappointed.
It is logical to want to satisfy a child, but how much we do it requires attention. Children need to learn how to deal with disappointments from an early age. Adult life is full of them, and thinking that ‘they will learn when they grow up’ is misleading. This is a skill that the child must cultivate early in life, otherwise, he may not develop it sufficiently and suffer.
A child who is used to us satisfying his every wish, if we suddenly stop doing it, may even be led to the conclusion that we no longer love him. It is his interpretation of the change in our behavior. That is how important our attitude is in this matter.
In some circumstances, the needs of the situation require us to say ‘no’ to the child. And to insist on it, even if he reacts violently, wanting to express his indignation. It is completely understandable that he wants to show us how disappointed he is. The goal is to help him understand what the limits are in this situation, to learn that disappointments arise and will arise in life, but that he can overcome them. A truly invaluable lesson!
However, to overcome them in his childhood, he needs our help. In every limit we set, it is important to help the child with his feelings by speaking with empathy and showing him that we truly understand his side. With our affection and our love, the child understands that he may not have gotten what he wanted, but he has something even more important: a parent who understands him. And that is precious to him!
Disappointment is a part of life, and the more a child is disappointed and overcomes it, the more they understand that even though they didn’t get what they wanted, happiness was maintained. This gives them the message that disappointments can be overcome, and that they are strong enough to overcome obstacles and face life with courage!